Head coach Dylan Roberts of the C-League intramural basketball team “Premature Shooters” was recorded on a bystander’s Instagram story offering illegal benefits for a player to join his team for the 2018 season.
The player in question, 6’5” junior Jake Krueger, doesn’t know Roberts personally, but the marketing major saw it as an opportunity to practice concepts from his professional selling class, as well as improve the team’s chances of winning a championship.
“The stakes started low with an offer for occasional meal swipes, and eventually got out of hand. Now I owe him a bottle of something called Fireball. I didn’t know he was into Magic the Gathering,” said Roberts.
With the addition of Krueger, the team now has one player over 6’0” listed on their roster.
The internet, which is noted for taking these things well and not overreacting to insignificant happenings, blew up at the discovery of the payment.
“This was Just The Tip-Off’s year! Every Sunday night, we had grueling practices 20 minutes before games,” said Jack Thompson, Just the Tip-Off head coach, on Twitter hours after the incident. “These boys earned it after their heartbreaking loss to the Rim Jobs in the C-League semi-finals last year. It’s just not right.”
These revelations sent shockwaves through the intramural community.
“It’s ruining the integrity of our game,” said John Sweeney, director of recreational sports at Marquette. Sweeney admitted to regularly hiring referees who neither fully understand the rules, nor completely pay attention to the game they’re officiating.
Others see this scandal as a sign of progress in intramural athletics and a chance to finally change an out-of-date system.
“You look at any intramural team, and there’s some amount of scandal,” said freshman forward Josh Leavitt. “It’s not the teams’ fault. The intramural system as a whole is flawed. The answer is simple: We need to pay intramural athletes.”
The debate on paying intramural athletes has been hotly debated in recent years, and the payment of Krueger has only re-kindled the debate.
The main concern in paying intramural athletes lies in equal compensation. Does a starting B-League basketball player get paid the same as an A-League badminton player?
“With all of these lucrative gym and activity fees we have to pay, players need compensation,” said Roberts. “Without compensation, how are players going to afford off-brand cereal or birthday cards hastily bought for their significant other last minute from Walgreens?”
Several days after the scandal, it was revealed that the Premature Shooters wouldn’t be participating in the C-League Playoffs.
“It’s not because of the sanctions or anything, I just forgot to sign up,” said team captain Joe Zweifel. “I figured I could get away with it because Lord knows the refs certainly aren’t paying attention.”