Between rent, electricity, books, and Sonic the Hedgehog DVDs, students have a lot of things to spend money on, so how do they manage to afford a balanced diets? Junior Dean Coughlin has an innovative solution.
"I realized that there's free food sitting around Sendik's market everyday," Coughlin said between mouthfuls of muffin crumbs. "I don't understand why people pay for food when this is just sitting in front of you! A bunch of sheeple, I tell you."
During breakfast, lunch and dinner, you can find Coughlin lurking around Sendik's and swiping samples. Patrons of the grocery store will recognize his signature trench coat and fedora, but occasionally he switches things up to keep them on their toes.
"Sometimes if I'm extra hungry or if they skimp out on the fruit cups, I put on a disguise and go back for seconds," Coughlin explains. "Let's just say my collection of false mustaches and novelty sunglasses has been put to good use.
University officials have given Coughlin their full support, going on record saying they applaud his commitment to innovation.
"We did not condone his actions at first, but then someone pointed out that they were innovative" said university spokesperson Amanda McKay. "Our PR team told us that innovation is our new thing, so we completely support him."
Some critiques argue that there are health concerns with surviving solely off fruit and guacamole found in small paper cups in a grocery store, but Coughlin has full confidence in his new diet.
"I spent the last two years of my life living off Sodexo food," Coughlin said. "Honestly, this feels like a step up."