Cobeen DR fooled by keg dressed as student
Chaos ensued on Saturday February 3 when a keg disguised as a resident snuck past Cobeen DR, Dick Hummingbird.
The Golden Seagull sat down with Hummingbird regarding the now infamous incident.
“Everything happened so fast,” Hummingbird commented. “At first I just thought it was a short, barrel-shaped resident and didn’t bat an eye. It was only after they got into the elevator and the basketball jersey and sunglasses dropped that I realized it was actually a keg.”
This incident comes on National Marquette Day, a day in which Cobeen residents are notorious for getting “sneaky,” as the Official DR Handbook states.
Once news of the incident reached Cobeen’s Facilities Manager, Hummingbird was promptly fired. “We just can’t have someone that careless on our staff,” Cobeen FM Miranda Cosgrove wrote on the incident report. “What if that keg had a weapon on them?”
The keg was not in possession of a weapon, according to the incident report.
“I don’t really see what the big deal is,” said the keg. “I think swiping into the buildings is stupid anyway.”