Student with no life still posting on Yik Yak


Sophomore Ben Kaster walked around the Alumni Memorial Union with a grin spread across his face, satisfied with his latest achievement; he had just received 10 up-votes on his latest Yik Yak post.

“It’s, like, pretty lit if you ask me,” Kaster said.

Yik Yak, the anonymous micro-blogging platform that achieved massive popularity several years ago only to lose it all in the ensuing years, has made a resurgence among people with literally nothing better to do with their time.

“Our internal statistics show Yik Yak is beginning to replace fidget spinners as the outlet of choice for millennials that need more friends,” brand manager Joe Melvin said. “People really want to have social interactions without the pressure of knowing each others’ names or faces.”

Kaster’s interest in Yik Yak spiked after he dropped a class due to a failing grade on the first exam. He also cut back on his hours as a Brew Café to barista to “spend some more time on (himself.)”

The newfound gaps in his schedule have given Kaster time to think of insightful, witty Yak messages. According to Kaster, “At least if I get hit by a LIMO, I won’t have to take my O-chem exam” is his most popular one, reaching 22 upvotes.

“I think that means people are really into me,” Kaster said. “Now all I have to do is sit back and wait for any of those people to become real-life friends.”

#YikYak #Sophomore #AndrewGoldstein

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