Chopstix to deliver meals exclusively in Milwaukee yellow cabs


Popular faux-Chinese food company Chopstix has sold all of its old delivery cars and bought a fleet of Milwaukee Yellow Cabs for delivery orders.

The change, rumored for several weeks, was confirmed by several eye-witness reports from Marquette’s campus Saturday night. Michael Collins, a junior living at The Marq, was the first to spot one of the cabs.

“I was obliterated at one in the morning and thought I’d get some sweet and sour chicken parts from Chopstix,” Collins said. “When I got the call and stumbled out of my apartment, all I saw was a middle-aged guy in a cab.”

“It was totally unexpected and exactly what I expected, all at the same time.”

Collins’ initial sighting was confirmed by several students later in the night. Senior Allison Marian woke up at 3:30 a.m. in her house on Kilbourn Ave and decided she was hungry. She ordered a sesame chicken combo meal, wondering if she’d even be awake by the time it showed up. Five minutes later, the Chopstix delivery cab somehow showed up outside her door, repeatedly honking at her until she stumbled outside.

“I thought the whole thing was some kind of elaborate dream sequence,” Marian said. “At 3:15 I’m sound asleep and at 3:45 I’m eating health code-complaint chicken.”

Chopstix refused several requests for comment. These requests were made by phone, email and the “special instructions” box on an order of Crab Rangoon.

#Chopstix #YellowCabs #Marquette #AndrewGoldstein

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