President Lovell goes undercover boss as AMU swipe lady
Last week President Lovell went undercover as a swipe lady at Marquette Place in an attempt to explore the inner workings of the university.
Clad in a navy Marquette Place polo, Lovell manned the right cash register as “Ned Schneebly” next to coworker Brianna. He became quickly assimilated to the culture of the workplace.
“He did what!?” Lovell gasped during a gossipy conversation about an Ultimate Baja server. He swiped cards without breaking eye contact with Brianna, not noticing upperclassman stealing food.
Lovell continued his stint as an undercover boss at the AMU, this time getting steamy at Grill 155. He quickly picked up the practices of serving chicken tenders that are more coarse breading and less chicken and taking hours to make a grilled cheese.
Lovell entered the experiment hoping he’d find a new viewpoint of his university. What he left with was a new perspective of himself.
“When I put on that Marquette Place jersey, I forget about all my problems,” confessed Lovell. “It just becomes me, the customer, and the MUID. I become at peace.”
As a result of his experience, he decided to continue part-time work at the AMU in addition to his presidential duties. But what will Lovell do about his false identity?
“Oh, Mike?” answered Brianna when asked for comment on Josie. “We knew it was him the whole time. He kept asking us for thoughts about the 707 Hub.”