Marquette's offer to "be your best friend if you complete course evals" goes unanswere

Over the past several weeks, Marquette has sent students numerous pleas to complete their course evaluations. These messages asked that students “pretty please” submit their comments, even promising that certain administration officials “would be your best friend.”

Now that results are in, it appears that students weren’t receptive to the message. as participation in course evals this semester was below average. Less than a third of Marquette students say they appreciated the administration’s 2 a.m. “u up? Course eval plz” Twitter DMs.

“It kind of reminded me of my creepy ex-boyfriend who wouldn’t leave me alone,” sophomore Brittany Crusili said.

Bombarding students with “OMG DO UR EVALS” messages has long been the method of choice for Marquette administration officials. At the end of each semester, collected feedback is (hopefully) anonymously shared with professors as a way of assessing and improving job performance. Faculty supervisor Matt Whitman believes that collecting these critiques is worth the excessive emails.

“We believe that students have valuable advice about who we should fire and we need to make that input is received from everybody,” Whitman said. “That’s why we’re willing to show up at people’s dorms at 3 a.m. and hold up a boom box outside their windows until we get them.”

Pollsters have previously asked students about the most effective ways to get their evaluations. Some students have said that a simple gesture of free food would be enough to get their evaluations. Others said they are holding out for more: the cancellation of final exams or the firing of that one AWFUL TA.

“If nobody’s going to get fired because of my evaluation, then what’s even the point of filling it out?” junior Zach Owens said.

Marquette officials are reportedly dismayed at the low levels of participation. One anonymous source complained that it was “like when you snap someone who you thought was your best friend and they don’t even respond.”

Photo by Ian Schrank

#CourseEvaluations #Marquette #Bribery #AndrewGoldstein

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