In the midst of international tensions, a Russian spy ship was spotted 2 miles off the coast of Bradford beach by Marquette Sailing during practice. This is the farthest Midwest a Russian spy vessel has ever ventured, according to US defense official, President Lovell has yet to release a statement on whether action would be taken on the matter.
The Golden Seagull spoke to eyewitness, Sailing Captain Ryan Clulo regarding the incident.
GS: Ryan, we understand you and your fleet were the first to spot the vessel, what was that experience like?
Ryan Clulo: I had certainly never seen anything like that in Lake Michigan before. Do you sail?
GS: Um, no, no I don’t.
Ryan: Interesting, I just noticed you were wearing Sperrys.
GS: Oh uh, no I just wear them around.
Ryan: So you wear boat shoes but you’re never around boats, is that right?
GS: Uh, yes.
GS: So um, did you recognize what the ship was when you first encountered it during practice.
Ryan: Yes I did, I can identify most vessels on the water, because of the nautical experience I have, which is why I wear boat shoes, because I’m on boats a lot.
GS: Right, um, so did you and the team feel threatened when you saw the Russian spy ship.
Ryan: Not really, we were able to sail out of there pretty fast thanks to the grip the bottom of our boat shoes have on wet plexiglass, which is what they’re for.
GS: Do, um, do you think spotting the ship will have any repercussions on international relations?
Ryan: I figured I’d let UWM handle it. Do you know what cultural appropriation is?
GS: Okay and that was the eyewitness report, thank you for coming in Ryan, and congratulations on going to nationals.
The Russian Spy Ship has since retreated back to international waters either due to pressure from the White House, or after realizing they were on the wrong coast from all the cheese curds and brats.
Investigations into whether or not Russia had influence over the 2016 election and more importantly the MUSG election are still underway.