Last week, Marquette launched two new initiatives with radically different purposes. Immediately after launching its new innovation hub for entrepreneurs, the university also unveiled its procrastination hub for people who occasionally think about being entrepreneurs.
“We realized that it would be imprudent to take care of only the high achievers and leave the theoretical achievers with no place to turn,” said university spokesperson Linda Johnson.
The new space’s features start with its prime location on the little-used fourth floor of the AMU. With the deterrent of a multi-flight walk and lunch in Marquette Place nearby, the hope is that students will be deterred from ever needing the space at all.
Once students enter the space, they are immediately guided to a computer with Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Vine, Netflix and Reddit all open. The room has glass windows facing out toward the courtyard, offering prime opportunities to stare into nothingness for minutes at a time. Every few minutes, hub staff members are instructed to talk to students about the game last night.
“It is the perfect space to get absolutely nothing done,” said freshman Dan Polinski.
Polinski wandered into the procrastination hub on its first day after finally committing to not chasing any of his business dreams for at least the rest of the year. He immediately found himself completely unmotivated to do anything and credits Marquette for inspiring that feeling.
“Man, it’s so scary to start a business and there’s so much stuff you have to do. I tried going to the innovation hub, but it was full of people who made me feel like I had to do work. Here I can think about running my own hedge fund, not actually do it, and it’s totally cool.”
Disclosure: The Golden Seagull is in preliminary talks to rent space in the procrastination hub.