"This is a busy time of year for the LIMOs," driver Mark Taylor explained. "We weren't able to send anyone to search until now. Last week Panic! At the Disco was at the Rave, so driving people there took our entire force."
After an exhaustive 20 minute man hunt, the LIMOs finally discovered Jansen curled up under the staircase in the basement. Jansen boarded the LIMO excited to return to society.
"This is the happiest moment of my life, I haven't seen sunlight in months." Jansen told the Golden Seagull. He was picked up at approximately 4:00 PM, so he still did not see sunlight when he left Raynor.
According to Jansen, he has been surviving solely on Brew muffins and Mountain Dew Kickstart. Experts from the Marquette Medical Clinic say that this diet is typical for the average Marquette freshman, so Jansen will have no problem integrating back into campus life.
After missing an entire semester of class, Jansen was ready to return home for the holidays and try college again next semester. The Golden Seagull will also return next semester. Follow us on Facebook and Twitter to stay updated!