INTERNSHIP OPPORTUNITY: Marquette Basketball Player
MARQUETTE SEEKING ONE MORE BASKETBALL INTERN FOR 2017 SEASON
Are you driven, hard working, and athletic? Have you always wanted to help a corporation earn millions of dollars? Would you be cool with not receiving money in exchange for your contributions? If any of these apply, then you’re in luck! Marquette is looking for a self-motivated intern to play basketball for the university during the 2017-2018 season!
Throw a leather ball through a hoop (Primary job).
Prevent other people from throwing a leather ball through a hoop (Optional).
HUSTLE! GET BACK ON D! HUSTLE!!!!!!!!
Be willing to awkwardly mingle with students at Marquette Madness.
Increase Marquette basketball’s television ratings and ticket sales, thereby making money for the university and allowing the athletic department to continue operating as a semi-autonomous entity with frightening amounts of budgetary discretion.
Pick up Wojo’s Dunkin’ Donuts order.
A fun, challenging job in a fast-paced work environment
Instant performance feedback from roughly 15,000 paying clients.
Freshmen will look at you on campus and whisper “hey that’s (INSERT NAME HERE)! I saw him on TV!”
The pride of knowing that hundreds of other people earn obscene amounts of money off of your talents.
May lead to future high-paying basketball job for roughly one percent of players.
Be able to throw a leather ball through a hoop while other people try to stop you from doing that.
Have at least three years of experience in throwing a ball through a hoop in high school.
Possess as few political/societal opinions as possible. If you have them, please keep them to yourself.
Optimal height: anywhere from 6-6 to 7-1.
Must be enrolled at a higher education institution. (Yes, we know it has nothing to do with playing basketball. Yes, you still need to do it.)
Internship is unpaid. You must be able to receive course credit.
Full-ride scholarships available, as long as some of your classes are chosen for you.
Time commitment: Around 30 hours per week, although if you want announcers to describe you as “scrappy,” bump than up to 40 hours per week.
All requirements are non-negotiable and are consistent with every other NCAA institution.
DIRECTIONS FOR APPLYING
Don’t contact us; if we’re interested, Wojo will show up at your house.