INDIANAPOLIS - The NCAA announced that all collegiate basketball teams must ride hoverboards during games starting with the 2016-17 season . Golden Eagles fans believe that this may put Marquette men's basketball back on the map.
“We are excited to announce a brand new rule to NCAA basketball that may change the game forever,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. “The brand new Hoverboard Rule will require all players on the court to balance on hoverboards while the ball is in play.”
This rule excited Marquette fans everywhere, because it is well known that Marquette’s basketball players have spent obnoxious amounts of time hoverboarding around campus in the past year.
“This is why Wojo gave them hoverboards in the first place,” said head coach Steve Wojciechowski. “Wojo’s got people on the inside. Wojo knows, baby. Wojo always knows.”
Coach Woiciechowski seems to have known about the NCAA’s Hoverboard Rule a year prior to its announcement, which comes as a huge relief to many Marquette students.
“I have to say I’m pleasantly surprised,” says Marquette student and basketball fanatic Lisa Webber. “All I thought while I saw the basketball players hoverboarding around was ‘How many hungry families we could have fed with that money?’ But thanks to the new Hoverboard Rule, I am much more willing to let those families starve.”
While student athletes at other schools may need to buy their own hoverboards, Marquette has been one of the few schools to supply them to its players. The team will have blue hoverboards for away games, and gold ones for home games.
"I'm surprised people didn't guess that this was secret training earlier," said Wojciechowski. "Did people think we bought the whole team hoverboards just for fun? That would be stupid!"