It seems the ten-dollar founding father without a father is an imposter! All around the United States, people have been reporting that the man found on the ten-dollar bill is clearly not Alexander Hamilton. Reports seem to indicate that the same generic colonial man is constantly reappearing on the bill.
“It’s so bizarre,” says Nicole Hersch, one of the first people to report on this strange phenomenon. “I’ve seen Hamilton live on Broadway and I can confirm that Alexander Hamilton was a Puerto Rican man with a goatee who bears a striking resemblance to Lin Manuel Miranda.”
While this is a deeply concerning and alarming issue that has strangely coincided with the peak of Hamilton’s popularity, there are a couple of dumb-dumbs who actually believe this goatee-less Hamilton is the real one.
Take for instance historian and author Ron Chernow, who even wrote a book on the first Treasury Secretary. “Are people really that stupid?” asked poo-poo head Chernow. “That is so clearly a photo shopped picture of Lin Manuel Miranda over an actual ten-dollar bill.” After spewing such lies, we promptly told Mr. Chernow to shut his stupid mouth and hung up on him.
The United States Department of Treasury is still looking into how such a massive blunder could have occurred, and false prophets like Ron Chernow continue to spew their propaganda.